I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
