me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Randomize