so that wasnt chicken after all
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
