Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
