those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
this is an emotional support booty call
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
