So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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