Is it because I queefed?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
