smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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