Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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