Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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