Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I will pee on everything he values.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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