He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
