Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
