i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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