i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
you win again, gameday.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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