Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
