you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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