Where did you get a picture of my penis
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize