just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
