How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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