Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
