if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
