Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Randomize