i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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