Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Damn victory sex feels great
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
