I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
