Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
