You really coming over, don't trick.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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