Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize