What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
