my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
