Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
