All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
