He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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