oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize