I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
