First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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