i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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