I cockslap morals
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
