So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
You ate ashes out of my bong
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
