guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
