and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
