I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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