walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
