Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
