So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
