I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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