Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
