I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
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