Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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