Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize