I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
