you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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