Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
NoShamevember. You game?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
