In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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